Visualizing Afflictive Emotions

I meditate nearly every day – I’m terrible at it, my mind is all over the place flitting here and there, jumping on one thought train after another and as often as I try to focus or direct my intention towards a specific point my mind finds a way to divert itself – and this … Continue reading “Visualizing Afflictive Emotions”

I meditate nearly every day – I’m terrible at it, my mind is all over the place flitting here and there, jumping on one thought train after another and as often as I try to focus or direct my intention towards a specific point my mind finds a way to divert itself – and this in itself has been very instructive. I have learned to watch my mind and my thoughts, to a certain extent I have become aware of my thoughts – not completely, but more than I was before. I have also become more aware of my emotions and the way they work within my mind – don’t get me wrong – I am a beginner at this, so I’m not trying to teach anything here, I’m only sharing something in the hope that it helps me further understand my own emotion- if it should be useful to someone else, wonderful and if someone can offer some insight that will help me, that is wonderful too. So, in any event, I have gained a very new awareness of my emotions – in particular the afflictive emotions – anger, lust, greed, self-righteousness, indignation, envy – you get the point. These are the afflictive emotions – the ones that take us over like a disease and create suffering within us. My internalized thought watching has yielded a surprising bonus – if I am in a state of even partial awareness (which is more often than it used to be, but I am still walking through my days mostly unaware – but working on it)I can actually visualize the afflictive emotions and see from whence they arise. Without going into details, this morning before getting up I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, but exploring my inner space – an external event triggered a bit of anger within me – and because I was present, I actually saw it as a sort of a green yellow spark which lit up in my center. I felt it, I knew what it was, I recognized it and without any judgement – I changed the color and thus, changed the reaction within myself – where I might have in the past let the rage consume me and then ‘woke up on the wrong side of the bed’, had a terrible morning, and perhaps even lashed out at others with no idea why I was doing so – instead, I simply recognized the anger and without judgment – I acknowledged it and shifted it to the side, much like I do with my stray thoughts during meditation. In the place of the green yellow spark, I pictured a blue circle and have gone about my day – it is early yet, but it is a much better day than it would have been. Now, if I can just increase the amount of time that I am present and aware each day…

Author: Administrator

I think, therefore, I worry.