Y2K/ WWIII WEOPON TIP #1
by Vago Damitio
The world is quickly heading to hell in a hand basket. I find myself prepared for whatever should come my way. Truly. I am trained by one of the worlds foremost military forces. My mother trained my siblings and I to be world class outdoor survivalists. I’m familiar with several methods of hand to hand combat as well as handheld, vehicle mounted, and vehicle mounted weopon systems. I’ve been really poor most of my life, so I’m a master scavenger. Someone suggested that I pass some of my vast survival knowledge on to those who may need it real soon…all of you.
HOW TO THROW A HANDGRENADE.
1. Determine the type of handgrenade. If it’s round it’ s probably a fragmentation grenade, these explode into schrapnel. If it’s a cylinder it’s probably an incenidary device, these are used for burning through things. If it’s egg shaped it’s most likely for illumination, these are used to provide light for work or signaling. If it’s a cannister it is probably gas, it could be a few different kinds.
2.Grip the grenade firmly in your fist holding the safety lever firmly down under your thumb, while placing your fore finger near the top of the grenade.
3. Hook the finger of your other hand through the pin.
4. Pull the pin out by twisting and pulling.
5. Point your free arm where you would like the grenade to go. Throw the grenade and step forward to follow through.
6. Watch the Grenade as you dive to the ground.
It is important to hit the ground quickly to protect yourself from the grenade and whoever is probably shooting at you. Handgrenades are not for kids in this country although we’ve had kids in other countries throw all kinds of bombs at our military. It is important to practice. Practice grenades can be bought at most surplus stores. You should be able to throw it about 25 yards, because that’s about how far you want to be from it when it explodes. Most grenades will explode 4 to 7 seconds after the safety lever is released. Once it is released, it’s going to explode. You release the safety when you release hold of the grenade. The lever should fly with the grenade. Go see Saving Private Ryan if you want to see what a greande does to a human body.
HATEMAIL OF THE WEEK
B’hamblin man, Bumblin idjit is more like it. In a recent article you said most homeless people are homeless by choice. You also said you’d let two albanian muslims stay in your house. Why not let a couple of homeless Aids patients, heroin addicts, or mentally ill people from Bellingham. You’re a hippocrit and full of shit. Bob Andrews.
Bob, I’ll stand by my views. There are very few people in this country with no options. Food Stamps, Welfare, The Food Bank, Shelters, Missions, Soup Kitchens, Churches, and Relief organizations give people many options, many of them forbid drugs or alcohol. That is the homeless persons choice. I hope you get some medication. It’s your decision.