Constant Rain Creates Mold Holes

The Oregon Coast is filled with decaying structures and ever-present mold. There isn’t much you can do about it. Hang a picture on the wall for a while, pretty soon there is mold between the wall and the picture. Same goes for furniture, rugs, and if you have metal things like tools or bicycles – … Continue reading “Constant Rain Creates Mold Holes”

The Oregon Coast is filled with decaying structures and ever-present mold. There isn’t much you can do about it. Hang a picture on the wall for a while, pretty soon there is mold between the wall and the picture. Same goes for furniture, rugs, and if you have metal things like tools or bicycles – the surface rust is almost instant and if you leave it for a season, it becomes a rusty old thing. The garage in the house we rent is a mold/rust/decay swamp – everything I’ve ever put in the garage has been ruined. The first year it was water damage, the next year I covered everything with tarps and the mold got in, the third year here it was rust and mold combined with water damage, last year I realized that anything in the garage was going to be ruined so left nothing but things that can’t be ruined like crab traps and rusty tools.

I brought nice carpets with me when we moved here. My favorite one was ruined by rain dripping from the center of my office (which is downstairs on the first floor) and yet, somehow the rain dripped from the ceiling fan right onto a beautiful Persian rug. A new leak sprung from an interior wall the other day and started dripping on my 150 year old mahogany secretary desk, but it was caught by a Chinese porcelain vase I had on top of it.

Things just get ruined here. My new enclosed trailer started leaking the other day – when it rains constantly and the wind blows constantly and the mold grows constantly and the leaks find their way in constantly – things just get destroyed. On the Oregon Coast, all it takes is a season of weather to turn new to old, another season of weather to turn old to worn, another season turns worn to broken, and it takes just one more to turn broken to ruin. I’m feeling the four winters we’ve been here – I started new but am on my way to ruin if I stay here any longer.

We mustn’t let that happen.

Are We Stagnating?

We’ve all heard the sounds of the 1960s…and we know what they wore, and we know what the news was like, and what was on TV, and what cars, refrigerators, and soda pop ads looked like. It’s safe to say, that the 60s never went away. To a lessor extent the 1950s are still with us – mostly how they were imagined in the 1960s and 1970s and the 1940s, 30s,and 20s – and to a greater extent, the 1970s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, and 20-Teens are ever present…. we are all going to party like it’s 1999 forever more…we are trapped in the last fifty years.

Yes, there is innovation. Yes, there are new styles and trends. But they are constrained within the confines of the lifetime of the baby boomers. And, that stuff isn’t going away…not anytime soon. Not unless our technology crashes…

And it may be too late to hope that the boomers themselves will ever go away…

What are your criteria for success?

Before you answer – let me point out that in a universal blink of an eye you will be dead and most likely forgotten by all of the living (because while we all remember Isaac Newton, can you name his neighbors, classmates, or neighbors? Or even the actors in a 1920s movie beside the headline star? The majority of us will be forgotten completely within a generation of our death meaning that not a living soul will know our name or that we existed)….

So, given that…what are your criteria for success in this life? Think carefully, because death and obscurity are coming – no matter what you do or who you are. What is your life about?

Regardless of what God you believe or don’t believe in or your beliefs (opinions) about an afterlife – one thing is certain – you will not be taking any form of wealth, your body, or most likely the things you identify as ‘self’ with you – but then, you might bring your actions, your deeds, your ‘balance sheet’ with you. Maybe there are a heaven and or hell, maybe reincarnation does happen, maybe karma and nirvana do ride on your choices…but no one knows for sure or can prove any of that. So, what gives your life, this moment, right now, importance.

It’s worth thinking about. It’s worth deciding. It’s worth it.

Visualizing Afflictive Emotions

I meditate nearly every day – I’m terrible at it, my mind is all over the place flitting here and there, jumping on one thought train after another and as often as I try to focus or direct my intention towards a specific point my mind finds a way to divert itself – and this in itself has been very instructive. I have learned to watch my mind and my thoughts, to a certain extent I have become aware of my thoughts – not completely, but more than I was before. I have also become more aware of my emotions and the way they work within my mind – don’t get me wrong – I am a beginner at this, so I’m not trying to teach anything here, I’m only sharing something in the hope that it helps me further understand my own emotion- if it should be useful to someone else, wonderful and if someone can offer some insight that will help me, that is wonderful too. So, in any event, I have gained a very new awareness of my emotions – in particular the afflictive emotions – anger, lust, greed, self-righteousness, indignation, envy – you get the point. These are the afflictive emotions – the ones that take us over like a disease and create suffering within us. My internalized thought watching has yielded a surprising bonus – if I am in a state of even partial awareness (which is more often than it used to be, but I am still walking through my days mostly unaware – but working on it)I can actually visualize the afflictive emotions and see from whence they arise. Without going into details, this morning before getting up I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, but exploring my inner space – an external event triggered a bit of anger within me – and because I was present, I actually saw it as a sort of a green yellow spark which lit up in my center. I felt it, I knew what it was, I recognized it and without any judgement – I changed the color and thus, changed the reaction within myself – where I might have in the past let the rage consume me and then ‘woke up on the wrong side of the bed’, had a terrible morning, and perhaps even lashed out at others with no idea why I was doing so – instead, I simply recognized the anger and without judgment – I acknowledged it and shifted it to the side, much like I do with my stray thoughts during meditation. In the place of the green yellow spark, I pictured a blue circle and have gone about my day – it is early yet, but it is a much better day than it would have been. Now, if I can just increase the amount of time that I am present and aware each day…

Afflictive Emotional Response

Afflictive emotional response tends to be a deflection from facing an opportunity for real growth (and growing). If you can – look past your anger, fear, anxiety and see where it is growing from – examine that soil, run it through your fingers, test it, rub it between your palms – and find the opportunity for growth. I say this to me – and hopefully I will listen. If you hear it and can listen, I applaud you.