The Sex Score in a Bizarre World Lab

by Vago Damitio He took his coat off and hung it on the peg,, where it always was, waiting for him to take it wherever he went. He walked into the kitchen, melancholy, and full of wonder as his mind thought back to the days of his youth. Working on yachts and falling in love … Continue reading “The Sex Score in a Bizarre World Lab”

Sex Score and Universal LabHe took his coat off and hung it on the peg,, where it always was, waiting for him to take it wherever he went. He walked into the kitchen, melancholy, and full of wonder as his mind thought back to the days of his youth. Working on yachts and falling in love at every port until the list of loves became like a list of books he’d  read. And forgotten.

It was no longer  simple  to answer  how many women he’d slept with or how many times he’d been in love. He had to second guess himself. In recent years he’d answered with

“ You really don’t really want to know that” and if pressed he would say “Four”. It was the magic number. Not too many, but not too few. Only it was such an outrageous lie.

Bizarre world in which you were expected to keep your own score as you went and nearly every other person was keeping their own “score”. It turned it into a giant competition for the good and the bad.

Life was confusing enough without developing this incredibly complex game called Love. It was a constant battle to remain afloat in the overcrowded sea of humanity.

He set his briefcase down and walked into the living room, grabbing a banana as he passed through the kitchen. He sat in his lazy-boy recliner and reached for the remote control after rocking the lever back as far as it would recline.

Kicking off his shoes he wondered to himself, “ Why are my socks so nice. Why do they have designs woven into them.Certainly not because I like them, but as a part of the game. At some point I decided that nice socks would make it simpler to seduce women.”

He kicked off his shoes one at a time. Right foot first, then left foot. They dropped to the floor  beneath the footrest of the recliner. He knew they would get in the way when he went to un-recline, but at this point he didn’t care. Later he would be annoyed with his earlier self for creating more work for his later self.

Life is like that. The now you is usually making decisions for the later you, and usually,  they are lousy decisions. Maybe you get it right more often as you get older, but you still screw up every time you do anything important.

Hindsight is 20/20, Foresight is often blind.

If we knew the future would we let it happen, or would we change the future, making it unknowable. Knowing too much is worse than knowing nothing most of the time.

What if you knew you’re destiny and hated it? Would you create it by trying to evade it? In which case would you have created it without the knowledge?

Does the universe have clockwork motion which gives us 70 or 80 years before we have to return to our places? What do we want?

Now is the time to communicate with our future selves so that we don’t regret any decisions later, make the best decisions possible.

What should I do? Do what you think is right.  Don’t hold back in your beliefs, explore them, trust them, make the most of your hunches and talents. It isn’t really what you think that counts.

Do you get what I’m saying? It makes sense to live your life as if every decision is your last.

When does it end? We don’t know. I t goes on as long as it goes on so make yourself at peace today. Find what it is you need to do.

What you would regret in your last moments. So what if you thought it would go on, you’d have more time.

You don’t that is the nature oft eternity. The world isn’t the friendliest place in the universe. It is made to solve problems.

Think of the world as a laboratory. The picture you had as a child was not entirely wrong. The Universal  God is a consciousness, which works in a clockwork fashion to an ultimate goal.

Humanity and life are a way to solve certain theoretical problems. Life is placed within the universe in various situations to which the best solution is found through adaptation.

It is not the word of anything. Each planet not a lab, but a test tube contained within the vast workshop-lab that is the universe.

Dalai Lama: Sex = Trouble

He’s right of course, but that doesn’t mean we are going to listen to him.

The Dalai Lama, the exiled Tibetan spiritual and temporal leader, on Friday said sex spelt fleeting satisfaction and trouble later, while chastity offered a better life and “more freedom.”
“Sexual pressure, sexual desire, actually I think is short period satisfaction and often, that leads to more complication,” the Dalai Lama told reporters in a Lagos hotel, speaking in English without a translator.

He said conjugal life caused “too much ups and downs.

“Naturally as a human being … some kind of desire for sex comes, but then you use human intelligence to make comprehension that those couples always full of trouble. And in some cases there is suicide, murder cases,” the Dalai Lama said.

He said the “consolation” in celibacy is that although “we miss something, but at the same time, compare whole life, it’s better, more independence, more freedom.”

Considered a Buddhist Master exempt from the religion’s wheel of death and reincarnation, the Dalai Lama waxed eloquent on the Buddhist credo of non-attachment.

“Too much attachment towards your children, towards your partner,” was “one of the obstacle or hindrance of peace of mind,” he said.

Revered by his followers as a god-king, the Dalai Lama arrived in Lagos on Friday on a three-day visit following an invitation from a foundation to attend a conference. He has made no political speeches in the west African country.

He leaves Friday night for the Czech Republic and then on to Brussels to address the European Parliament before heading to Poland, where he is due to meet with French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

The 73-year-old Nobel Peace laureate has been a mainstay on the diplomatic stage ever since he fled his native land for neighbouring India in 1959.

Still based in northern India, the Dalai Lama has increasingly been in the spotlight since protests in Tibet turned violent in March this year, just months before the Chinese capital Beijing hosted the Summer Olympic Games.

Regarded by his many supporters outside China as a visionary in the vein of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 for his accent on non-violence to achieve change.

However, he is reviled by the Chinese government, which has branded him a “monster” and accused him of trying to split the nation.

Non stop talkers, tea vs. crime, Drew is single (and so am I), we should take a ride in a flying saucer. Obama already is.

Have you ever had a conversation with one of those people that just won’t stop talking? Or worse yet, someone who seems to be having a conversation with you, but in fact does not react or respond to anything you say but only doggedly keeps talking about whatever it is that comes to their minds or pops out of their mouths? You know like:

Talker: “Hey Chris, I planted a new garden”
me: “Cool. I’ve been meaning to ask you why you are parking your car in front of my living room and blowing leaves into my garage”
Talker: “Yah, totally, I’ve got tomatoe and peas…”
me: “And I dont’ appreciate you stealing my bicycle and locking it up with your lock..
Talker: for sure…and you should see my lettuce…off the hook…

Okay this is a slight exaggeration, but my next door neighbor is an old woman who seems to be having a conversation without actually having one…and there are other people like this in my life too. Check out what one woman in Germany had to do to get rid of one.

Of course conversation can be useful, as in the case of a Japanese woman who talked a knife wielding thief into not robbing her…over a cup of tea.

Speaking of tea, I’d love to have a cup of tea with Drew Barrymore now that she is single again. Just one first date will be enough though…thanks. I think I am quirky enough for it to work out in the long run. Just imagine…she and I could take a ride in the new flying saucers.

We could even bring along Obama and his flip flop drive:
I will pull the troops out, I’ll think about the troops coming out, they will come out, they won’t come out, I mean they will but they may have to stay a while before they do but I mean what I said about the troops coming out and I didn’t flip flop, not really, I mean it was the same thing I said almost, just a little different and really I am the least worst choice you can choose for President anyway.

Vote Nader.

Watermelon Viagra, Weight loss through sex, Dollar dysfuntion, and a sad story too.

Turns out Watermelon eaters make better lovers…here’s why…(did I mention I love watermelon?)

Watermelons contain an ingredient called citrulline that can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body’s blood vessels, similar to what happens when a man takes Viagra, said scientists in Texas, one of the nation’s top producers of the seedless variety.

Found in the flesh and concentrated in the rind of watermelons, citrulline reacts with the body’s enzymes when consumed in large quantities and is changed into arginine, an amino acid that benefits the heart and the circulatory and immune systems.

“Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it,” said Bhimu Patil, a researcher and director of Texas A&M’s Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center.

Speaking of Watermelon, I ran into my friend Wally Amos (Famous Amos of Famous Amos Cookies) the other day when I was doing an eco-tour in Kailua. Wally stopped my van and chatted with my passengers for a while. They were confused about who the friendly black man in the watermelon hat was until I told them when we left. Turns out they all love his cookies.
To bad the dollar can’t eat some watermelon…it is suffering from severe erectile dysfunction since Bush came to power. It has declined 41% against the Euro in that time. Cute, huh? The U.S. now has $9.5 trillion debt — up from $5.7 trillion when Bush took office — and this has driven down the currency. The decline was accelerated by the subprime crisis that plunged the U.S. into an economic tailspin.

Here is a cute picture with a tragic story attached and it isn’t what you would think:

In this undated photo, Ram Singh Munda, 35, rides a bicycle with his pet sloth bear Rani in Gahatagaon village, about 125 miles (200 kilometers) north of Bhubaneswar, India. When wildlife officials learned of Munda, who brought the orphaned bear cub home from the forests of eastern India, where it became part of the family, he was arrested and jailed for violating wildlife laws, the bear was sent to a zoo where it’s refusing to eat and his abandoned six-year-old daughter has been shipped off to a state-run boarding school.
(AP Photo)

Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness

That’s 264 sex acts (involving a condom) per couple.

WELLINGTON (Reuters) – One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year’s supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper reported Monday.

Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.

The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter.

“Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,” Henriksen told the Southland Times newspaper.

About 125 scientists and staff are stationed at McMurdo base, the largest community in Antarctica, during the winter months when there is constant darkness.

Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness | Reuters

Cuba to provide free sex-change

Right on. The Cubans have excellent medical training and provide physicians to underserved areas around the world. The US could learn a few things. I can’t think of Raul Castro, though, without thinking of a science fiction book I read about a year ago that involved time travel back to Che’s Cuba and portrayed Raul quite scathingly as an effeminate, frustrated, and twisted bastard. Can’t remember the book. If anybody knows, let me know.

Cuba has authorised sex-change operations and will offer them free to qualifying citizens, officials say.

The move is the latest in a series of policy changes implemented by President Raul Castro since he succeeded his elder brother, Fidel, in February.

Raul Castro’s daughter, who heads the National Centre for Sex Education, spearheaded the changes in a country renowned for sexual conservatism.

So far 28 transsexuals in the country have requested the operation.

Last month, for only the second time, the Cuban authorities joined events to marking International Day against Homophobia.

Raul Castro’s daughter, Mariela, has also pushed for the state to recognise same sex unions and inheritance rights.

If adopted the reforms would give Cuba the most liberal gay rights in Latin America, says the BBC’s Michael Voss in Havana.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Cuba to provide free sex-change