Sexual Harassment War is Helping Donald Trump

I have no proof of this, I don’t need it – I simply understand it to be true. The current sexual harassment scandals and the ‘war on men’ are improving Donald Trump’s image. I can hear you protesting and saying it’s just the oppossite. Yeah, I want you to be right, but you’re wrong. Here’s … Continue reading “Sexual Harassment War is Helping Donald Trump”

I have no proof of this, I don’t need it – I simply understand it to be true. The current sexual harassment scandals and the ‘war on men’ are improving Donald Trump’s image.

I can hear you protesting and saying it’s just the oppossite. Yeah, I want you to be right, but you’re wrong. Here’s the problem.

Men are biologically driven to use our cocks. It’s a biological impulse that can overcome our ethics, our good judgment, our common sense, and nearly everything else. The only reason all men are not rapists is because most of us are wired to be turned on by a sexual partner who desires us. If our ethical beliefs align with our sex drive then we are good – it’s not the other way around. As a man, I feel pretty certain that the overriding factor is the desire to experience sexual release and if there is a way to do that which fits with societal norms we will use it. For most of us, marriage and relationships provide that release – which is a big reason why we go that route – sorry romantics. I’m not saying there are not other reasons – but this is bigger than it gets credit for.

I’m not sure why the current multiple situations think its okay to ignore this aspect – my guess is that it’s because women don’t share the same compulsion – we can pretend they do, but they don’t – or maybe they have a superior built in control system that works better than ours – in any event – there is a word for a woman who does have the same wiring – nymphomaniac – it’s telling that there is no word for the male version – because the word is simply – man. Men understand this and women simply cannot – just like men can’t understand menstruation or child birth – they are not part of our biology. The sex drive in men, however, is very very real.

There is a gradient, I’m sure. Is there a heterosexual man alive who could not be seduced by the most beautiful woman in the world? Maybe…but probably not. This despite everything he might stand to lose for it – marriage, family, respect, position, money, power – whatever – in the moments when he is being seduced – all rational thoughts of those things disappear. Governments know this, spies know it, and let’s face it – everyone knows this.

If a reasonably attractive woman clearly offers sex to a man – any man – there is a pretty good chance he will take it. Why? He can’t fucking help it. I know that’s not what women want to hear, I know that we all want to pretend that it’s a choice he is making, but it’s not. Unless this is a seriously self-awakened and self-aware and fully conscious individual – he will succomb to the offer.

But wait, you say, that’s different. He is being offered, not using power or position or percieved control to take advantage of a woman. It’s not different. Sorry. If the possibility exists and the liklihood of success is better than the liklihood of failure (or some such metric) then he will go for the sex. Bill Clinton with an intern? He had everything to lose and is arguably one of the smartest men in the world – but he did it. Why? His rational brain was not working. His sexual desire was making up new rationales to make it okay for him. Donald Trump grabbing women and kissing them or grabbing their pussy – same thing, no matter how awful it is. Roy Moore dating teenage girls – despicable, but in his brain – rational. Al Franken – rationalized as okay. Harvey Weinstein – using what he had to get what he wanted. Louis C.K. – brain flooded with desire…And the list goes on and on…Bill Cosby, etc etc

So, am I saying that these things were okay? Of course not. We need to control ourselves. I’d like to think that if I were in a position of power, being the person I am today, I would not take advantage of a known power diferential – but, deep in my man-loins – there is a sympathy for all of these guys because I understand that what they did was find a way to have sex with women they were attracted to – and that is what men are wired to do.

The wider and deeper this war goes – the more it drives men to repress that this biological drive exists and the more that happens, the more they look at Donald Trump as someone who represents them. I know that on the surface – all of this seems damaging for Trump, but in the areas that we men are no longer allowed to let the world know about – it is building a sympathy for him.

I see almost all of this as a result of the artificial and imposed American protestant ethics about sex. In the USA we have some of the most backwards ideas about sex of anywhere in the world. We are more sexually repressed than any developed nation in the world.

Legalized and regulated prostitution and the eradication of the stigma of prostitution would solve a lot of this. Educated, healthy, and well paid prostitutes would create the release valve for this problem. I promise you that if there were a hotel where Al Franken, Louis C.K., and the rest of them could go to pay for sex without any stigma attached – lots of these problems would disappear. You may not like to hear that, but it’s true. And, believe it or not, there are women that would welcome it as a respected and safe profession – again, it’s a matter of stigma. The Courtesans of ancient Persia, the Geisha of ancient Japan, even the Madams of the Old West – these were not considered dirty or befouled or ruined women – and that made the difference.

So, like everyone, I’m watching this sexual harrassment thing unfold – and like everyone, I’m horrified by it. I’m also horrified by the fact that I think it gives Donald Trump a much better chance at winning re-election in three years.

Perspective

I remember back in the early 2000s when I was living on the island of Kauai – this middle aged guy showed up on the island, wife and two young kids in tow. He was likable enough and hustled non-stop to make deals, set up new projects, and get money. Actually, he came across as a shyster…any conversation with him felt like an attempt to get you to do some work for him without pay – he was constantly setting up deals and partnerships where he enabled other people to do the work and then share their profit with him. Myself and all of my single guide friends – we laughed at this guy behind his back and avoided him at all costs – but it was almost impossible to avoid him – he was everywhere.

Back then, it was impossible for any of us to understand what he was doing. Now though, with a wife and child of my own – and a constant need to hustle so that we can continue to live here in this paradise that impossible rents have turned into a kind of hell – I get it. He was trying to find a way to let his children grow up in a wonderful place. He wanted his kids to have the chance to find happy lives and have happy memories of childhood in a wonderful and magical place.

I wonder what happened to that guy. I wonder what happened to his kids. I wonder what happened to all of my single guide friends. I can tell you what happened to me – I’m a middle aged guy with wife and kid in tow trying to find a way to let my daughter have happy childhood memories of growing up in paradise. I’m doing it while trying hard not to do what that guy did – coming across as a shyster or a person who is trying to profit from other people’s work.

But here I am…with perspective I didn’t have a decade ago.

The War Against Men

It’s about fucking time. We’ve been degrading women, the earth, children, strangers, animals, water, the air, and more for all of human history as far as I can tell. If there was ever any measure of who should not be in charge of this planet – we, and by we – I mean men, all of us with dicks and balls no matter where we like to put them – we should not be allowed to rule. We do a terrible job of it.

Yes, we are good at some things. Some of us are nice. Some of us are considerate. Some of us aren’t bad at all. Some of us are even good – but the record speaks for itself. Men are guilty of noise pollution, bullying, creating wars, and all kinds of other things.

I for one am very happy to have women step up to the plate and relieve us of our power to rule.

A few words of advice – if I may – ignore or pay attention – it’s up to you.

1) We did it wrong. Coercion and force are not the way forward. Mass killings, mass incarceration, warfare, and vile violence are not the answer.

2) Punishing the Germans after WWI led to Hitler. Punishing men could lead to a terrible backlash…please find a way to do it that doesn’t give power to monsters.

3) Men essentially want three things 1) Praise 2) Blowjobs 3) Sandwiches – it’s the quest for these three things (which all have the most power when they come from women) that have led to all the horrors men have brought to the world. I’m throwing this in because in my experience, most women don’t understand just how powerful they really are. This is it – the secret to controlling all the men and taking all the power.

4) If you can figure out how to exterminate us, it will probably be best – but I can’t help but think that we offer something that can be wonderful – some of us make the best fathers – of course others are only good if they are gone. So, either way, I understand.

5) Focus on those who nurture cooperation and working together – I mean when you are giving power to leaders…because there are some women who are essentially chasing the same motivations as men and those women will only bring you more of the same.

6) This is the big failing of men in leadership – we seem to have always been focused on fixing the external world while the world around us was imperfect and suffering. Start with the woman next to you and make sure she is taken care of before you start looking across the world. A community of autonomous and healthy people where no one is left out – that’s a community that can grow and help others.

But, I’m just another man offering a little bit of perspective from where we were coming from – offer me some praise and you own my soul. Offer me a sandwich and you own my body. Offer me a blowjob and you own my ability to make decisions. I know that isn’t the revolution you have in mind, but it would work.

USMC Bootcamp PTSD #metoo

I saw a story today about a drill instructor who hazed his recruits, called them names, and destroyed them in some cases so badly that they killed themselves. I’ve been suffering from post-USMC bootcamp PTSD for more than twenty years. I remember being put in the dryer at MCT in California, I remember being brutally beaten, I remember having our platoons lined up after hand to hand combat training and being told that only the best of the best could be sent to Iraq and to get ready to kill or be killed by the recruits in the other platoons. We believed it, it was the eve of the first Gulf War, we were told that we were heading to our deaths every day. We had a recruit break on the firing line during M-16 qualifications and turn the gun on the rest of us – no one was hit. We had low crawl excercises with (we were told and I believe it to be true) live weapon fire over us as we crawled through concertina wire. We were beaten, called every name you can imagine and instilled with a disgusting and racist hatred of Arabs, Muslims, and Russians. We had boxing ‘smokers’ where little guys like me got the shit kicked out of us over and over again by big hulking monsters. The drill instructors were like demons. I asked for help dealing with the nightmares and the constant panic attacks after I got out – I’d developed a severe self-medicating and debilitating alcohol dependence during my four years in the service – I had multiple alcohol related incidents – I was sent to rehab and then put back in the hard drinking barracks environment – I sought help for that too when I got out and for that and the panic, and the ptsd, and the night terrors – I was assigned to a VA psychologist who didn’t ask me anything but used our sessions to reminisce about killing Vietnamese and fucking prostitutes. Now, at forty-five, I feel like I finally have things under control – but those twenty five years of severe PTSD and ill advised self medicating with drugs and alcohol – it’s no wonder I don’t own a home, haven’t built a career, and haven’t managed to save anything for retirement – thanks a lot USMC. Happy Birthday. Uh-rah.

This Brave New World

I’m happy that the world is getting safer for people who are not in power positions. I’m glad that the people who have been abused – whether sexually, intellectually, or physically can now come forward and not fear reprisal.

I do wonder, however, whether we have entered a new era where guilt is presumed and a court of law is no longer needed. The instant media makes it possible for a lone quiet voice to be picked up and amplified – and more voices can be added until the accused no longer has any sort of presumption of innocence. It seems that those in a power position are given the least liklihood of actually being innocent of their charges…which is probably as it should be – the exception being the President of the United States – who despite multiple accusers appears to still be gathering more power.

The President aside – the accusers of others are given full throat and no proof really needs to be presented in order to destroy a career, a body of work, or previous accomplishments. I am happy that the accusers, many of whom or even most of whom are undoubtedly actual victims, are able to come forward and to voice their injuries. I do wonder, however, whether we are crossing a threshhold which is perhaps more dangerous to society as a whole.

I’m no fan of our human society nor the capitalistic machinations of our leaders. I’m no fan of the powerful exploiting the weak. If this is the needle which will cause the collapse of the haystack then bring on the accusations and throw them where you may, however, it might be a good time to take a deep breath and consider the implications of what we are doing. It is only a matter of time before a false accusation ruins an innocent person – thus far, that doesn’t seem to be the case, but certainly it is coming and my hunch is that in our enthusiasm to destroy the powerbrokers who have exploited the weak we will perhaps have a tendency to ignore the mistakes or lies in our mad rush towards this brave new world.

Dear White Men – please stop … just stop…

Dear White Men,

I’m one of you, I’m a white man. An American, born and raised. I’m a vet. I’m heterosexual. I’ve hunted animals with guns. I’ve driven drunk, paid for it, and learned my lesson. Seriously, I”m one of you. I played football in school. I’ve owned a pickup truck. I’ve owned guns – all kinds of guns. I can go on, but do I need to? Have I got white guy cred yet? Will you listen?

Please stop. All of it. Just stop it.

You know what I’m talking about. Yes, I’m talking about the murder of innocent people – defenseless people. Kids in elemntary schools, people at the movies, people in church, people at concerts, people playing sports, in general – people just trying to live, trying to get by, trying to figure out why they are here and why life is so fucking confusing, people just being people.

Stop killing people. Just quit it.

I know you are mad and looking for someone to blame. The world isn’t what you were told it would be. You didn’t get what you wanted. None of us did. We all have to deal with it. You’re making it worse though.

It’s not just the killing though. The whole bro-culture thing, the macho date raper and sexual asault things, the gay bashing, the racism, the road rage, the internet trolling, the calling of people snowflakes or libtards, the rest of it. All of that stuff…it’s disgusting and it’s fucking up everything. You are making things worse for yourselves and for other white men. You are creating a world where being a white man is an ugly thing. You are doing it. Stop it. Just stop.

Look, I’m a white man and you are making me hate white men. Imagine how you are making people who aren’t white men feel? Do you think they are appreciating white men more because of you? Do you think they are attracted to white men more because of you? I can promise you, that you are not making the world a better place for anyone. You are making the world a scary, ugly, awful place and you are making it awful for everyone – including yourself and other white men.

Please stop it. Please.

Sincerely,

Christopher Damitio