Ramblin’ Man: All this talk of Cats has me thinking…Beer vs. Pussy

rambling man columnOkay…for some reason I am a little hesitant to post this entire in depth analysis sent by Kid McGurk on the front page here….a couple of examples will suffice and click below for the rest of this…..

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: Beer.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a
beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

Subject: Pussy Versus Beer

Pussy Versus Beer

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice
cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not
disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a
beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely
get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you
need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a
football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a
football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a
breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a
high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: Beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: Beer.

Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Pussy can make you see God.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about your next beer, you are
an alcoholic.
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you
are normal.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual
harassment.
Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the
dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly
have you back.
Advantage: beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy:
Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran
Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

It’s a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy.

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