A Notice to All Young Men

War is coming young men, get your selves ready. This is my notice to all young men.

A NOTICE TO ALL YOUNG MEN
by 

rambling man columnRussia is drafting young men. Who are all those young men going to fight? Maybe they are going to fight you!

That’s right. The military is hard pressed to fight two air wars and maintain worldwide bases. There is good news though. For the first time in recent history the U.S. military has lowered requirements for getting into the service. You no longer have to be a high school graduate. World War III and you could be right at the front of it all.

You might even end up being the last one alive, in the battle or the world. Just think, you’ll get to fight in a war. A real war like your great granddad fought in. Of course it’ll be as ugly as Grandpas Vietnam. It’s already been named for you. World War III. At least we’ve given up naming them things like “ The war to end all wars”. You may have ideas about running to Canada and evading the draft, but guess what? Canada is a member of NATO!!

You’ll get to Canada and be sent to the war. Just imagine , when you’re older you’ll get pay for PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder) , gulf war syndrome, various injuries, or mental illness, just like all those Vietnam Vets who haunt dirty bars all over America. Don’t worry though, you’re fighting for a good cause. You will be killing people in order to stop people from killing each other. As a veteran of the Marine Corps, let me tell you what a few good men will get to experience in training. I was in boot camp during The Gulf War, so training was intense, we expected a long war.

Phase I: Sleep deprivation, endless signing of forms, all your hair shaved off, clothes taken, given uniforms, no talking, heavy physical punishment, creation of victim mentality a’ la holocaust

Phase II: Heavy physical training, more responsibility, allowed some hair, the carrot is dangled, weapons training, camaraderie builds

Phase III: Responsibility taken away, heads shaved, heavy discipline, intense physical training to the point of body failure, graduation, pride in accomplishment and all it represents, even if you previously disagreed completely.

It only takes 16 weeks. Now you’re off to fight in a war you believe in. I came out of boot camp talking about sand-niggers and rag-head-motherfuckers. New prejudices given to me so I could kill easier. Luckily the war was over before they could send me.

I would have gone then, gladly. It took me years to find my way to my own beliefs after the brainwashing and indoctrination my country gave me.

You’ll get stories to tell around the campfire of civilization. It makes me a little sad as I see you young men riding skateboards, eyeing young women, and causing mischief on Railroad Avenue . You will probably die in a war. You’re the ones we’ll send first.

You’ll be the first to die. I just thought you should know.

Author: Administrator

A very lucky primate who lives without a permanent home or destination. Wandering the world and enjoying this existensis.

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